I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
they're like a gay fantastic four
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
