WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
