just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
