Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My hand turned me down
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
