My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize