oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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