My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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