About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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