is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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