I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
