I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
