My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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