You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
