i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
