You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
