You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
