Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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