I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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