i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
