its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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