dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize