I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
