Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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