there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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