96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
