I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
