So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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