So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
