Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize