If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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