So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize