You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A+ Viking dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
