There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
