I only kidnapped one of them. chill
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize