theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
