I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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