is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
