He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I could fuck to npr.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize