just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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