someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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