We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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