The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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