why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
