her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
