it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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