their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
