a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
