why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
