I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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