So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
