Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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