Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
