Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
