Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize