my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
