Me. At least after what I've been through.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
