Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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