nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
