he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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