He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
