i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
